Child Joint Custody
Learn about child custody laws!
A very common misconception is that joint custody means that the children spend half the time with each parent. This is not necessarily the case. The time that children spend with each parent is separately set out in an “access schedule.”
What happens when both parents in a joint custody situation can’t agree on something?
Normally the “separation agreement” or “court order” will set out in detail what needs to be done. The parents must attend mediation to resolve the issue. As a last resort, if they still can’t agree, the court or judge will decide.
It is not necessary for both parents to agree on everything for joint custody to work. Not even happily married couples are able to agree all of the time!
While the court has the final word on custody decisions, the judge upholds most “negotiated” settlements.
Why has physical custody has gained in popularity lately?
Another reason for the increase in popularity relates to the increase in moms who must work full-time. “Solo parenting” becomes quite difficult for a mom with a demanding full-time job, especially one with overtime or a long commute. Many couples, whose “before separation” lives were already stretched thin, find they have to cooperate to manage the needs of their children.
The real advantages of joint custody
- 1.) Living in both households allows children to maintain a strong relationship with both parents.
When both parents are available, children enjoy the unique gifts of guidance, discipline, and love of each parent. Additional advantages are the role models that fathers can nurture and mothers take charge.
- 2.) Children benefit when parental relations are cooperative and there is no extended legal wrangling. When parents are reasonably satisfied with their custody plan, they are more likely to cooperate on a range of issues. Children are less likely to manipulate, and learn that conflicts can be resolved in a civil way.
- 3.) Children in shared custody have “normal time” with both parents. When moms have primary custody, “week-end dads” often shower kids with costly gifts to make up for lost time. This tends to generate resentment from mothers who feel they are left with the less glamorous job of disciplining. Moms on tight budgets feel cheated when they cannot afford to be as generous!
- 4.) Joint custody lessens the sense of loss and sadness a child often feels when a parent moves out.
- 5.) Children in joint custody may benefit materially, as child support is paid fully 75% of the time, compared to 46% in solo custody arrangements.
Disadvantages of shared custody
- 1.) A child’s life may resemble that of a traveling salesman, never settled in any one place. This is particularly true when there are no consistent schedules known ahead of time, and children move back and forth at the whim of parental needs. It is compounded when each child’s developmental, educational, and social needs are not considered.
- 2.) The psychological impact may be a sense of lack of control and chaos in a child’s life. Predictability and stability help children develop confidence and the ability to take reasonable risks.
- 3.) Expenses are without question, much greater in maintaining two full residences. There is duplication in need for clothing, furniture, and other necessities.
- 4.) Fathers are sometimes unprepared for the actual responsibilities of shared custody. Despite the influence of the feminist movement, the reality is that most women are still the primary caretakers of children, even when they work full-time.
- 5.) When parents have unresolved marital issues, joint custody can exacerbate family conflict.
Is there anything parents can do to make joint custody successful?
First, parents should consider the trust level around parenting issues they had during their marriage. Other key considerations are the strength of parents’ motivation to make it work, adjusting to the child’s needs and personalities, and the practical and financial demands of the family.
For more information please see: Child Lawyers.
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