Little Red Riding Hood Approaches Internet Dating
Little Red Riding Hood innocently sat and sipped her cup of tea as the Big Bad world said, “I am not a fair-weathered friend,” as he slowly put his arm around her waist.
Karley seemed surprised and angry at her own foolishness for falling for her latest boyfriends smooth lines. She was a sophisticated, well educated and and an attractive woman, not yet fifty years of age.
She entered my office for therapy distraught over her bad luck with dating men in her region This was not the first female patient that had expressed her disdain for the games that men play in the game of dating sites which seem to only showcase the “success stories”.
I try to focus on women’s perspectives on these issues not only of dating, but the new-age processes of Internet dating, sex and love. I am not so sure that the problem is specific to any specific city (many of those interviewed for this article live nation wide). It seems that in our 21st century world of dating, these issues of the search for ultimate love, lust, and romance with the perfect partner run rampant and seem to have that could be a block away or across the globe.
First and foremost, women are complaining about several major repeated patterns of behavior seen in many of the men they have met. Listed below are the major offenders as stated by many of the women interviewed for purposes of this topic, dating, sex and intimacy.
A few of the major dating no-no’s include:
1. The man has chronic predictable ADHD. He loves dating you, almost as much as he loves being back on the dating sites seducing other gullible women.
2. Women are not the only ones who lie about their ages. That is a big mistake. A fifty year old man, can put a younger picture up, but in real life, he is still fifty, while the picture he put up may be when he was 30.
3. Suddenly the conversation goes from little pleasantries and compliments to nonstop complaints about his ex. It is fairly clear she is not yet out of his head and soul if that is all he can talk about.
4. “Some men can’t even follow through. They take you on a date, tell you how crazy they are about you, and then don’t call back for a week, while having “business lunches” with other women…. all the while having made a date with you for this Friday. All the while he is telling you he is totally committed to you. Huh?
OK…OK….OK…… I get the picture…… As a single woman myself, I have kissed my share of frogs. The key question here is…..WHY DO PEOPLE FAIL OUR EXPECTATIONS OF THEM???? And that is exactly what they do, because we set ourselves up for these disappointments!!!!!! People are people are people……thats right….we are humans with human frailties. All of us make mistakes, and not only fail others but ourselves as well at times.
We are busy women, and with Internet dating seeming the most convenient way, we as women have to be, …and by the way………this is not an if, or a maybe, but absolutely a mandate that we “MUST BE” vigilant in our survival instincts!!!!!!! In other words….you must be discerning in your choices or it can cost you big time.
Think of it this way…would you scatter your finances away haphazardly, or give away your most valued possessions to just any old person that passed your way. Of course not!!!!!!! Then I ask, why are we as women…so often giving away our most precious belonging….our essence and soul energy. Thats right…..your essence…..that which makes up the core of who you know yourself to be, including your sense of self, self-esteem, loving heart, physical life force, etc.
If the local men are acting like “he who dies with the most toys wins”…living their second childhoods all over again, why must we be susceptible to their fragile egos and acting out teenage acting-out?
Although the question concerning how to find the “perfect partner” is often raised, the answer lies in loving and respecting yourself-first. On the subject of sex, love and your body, you can never truly give to another, what you have not accepted for yourself. If you don’t have love for yourself, you can’t be loving to others.
This type of self-awareness is not so elusive as you might think. It simply means that, ‘you are aware of what the boundaries and pitfalls of internet dating entails’. You’re give physical, energetic, emotional, mental, soul-level, and spiritual aspects of your being, while maneuvering through this cyber-space world of the dating and mating process. Why not guard against the dangerous curves in the road that are yet to come. And there will be some more.
In the final analysis, you are responsible for taking responsibility for your own safety and growth. So even if the big bad wolf…..slips you that slippery and rancid cup of tea, it is up to you to decide if you want to go down that path! As they say….”IF YOU DON’T STAND FOR SOMETHING….YOU’LL FALL FOR ANYTHING….little Red Riding Hood
